Confessions of a Unicorn

Shhh. What I’m about to tell you, you can’t repeat.

For real.

I don’t know what I’m doing. There I said it.

When the company president hired me for marketing, I was excited. I mean, how hard could it be?

I have written copy for websites and sent out email blasts, and I understand the basic elements of marketing.

I was sure I could do it.

I would nail the very first campaign and get instant results to wow my new boss.

Once I got in here, though, I realized how much I don’t know.

Me pretending like I know what I am doing.

How is one person supposed to be an expert at:

  • Developing a New Brand
  • Creating a Tagline
  • Building Websites
  • Search Engine Optimization
  • Designing Social Media Graphics and Flyers
  • Directing and Editing Videos
  • Scheduling and Writing Powerful Email Campaigns
  • Managing Paid Ad Budgets
  • Working with the Media
  • Creating an Engaging Online Community on Social Media?

I end up Googling “How to …” for 80% of the tasks I’m given.
The other 20% of the tasks I fake and essentially do a mediocre job achieving mediocre results. (But that’s okay because who has time to put together a report to show the results?!)

Sorry I had to take over all the Liger accounts like this! It’s just that, they’re so good at what they do.

They know how to turn your marketing into a machine (minus the promise of fluffy kittens and rainbows).

Anyway, if you’re still looking for a one trick pony – you know where to find me.